and the way your eyes change intensity depending on the moment (2022) is a dance piece which I choreographed, scored, and performed in. I also programmed and designed the visuals which are projected throughout the piece.

The title of the piece comes from a text message I was sent sometime in the winter of 2021. I had quickly become close with a young trans man while on a work trip to LA. At the time, I was very insecure about sex and romance as a trans woman still quite early in my transition. We had a wonderful and impactful time together, and when I returned to New York he left me a beautiful text message, a part of which reading “and the way your eyes change intensity depending on the moment.” There was something so incredible in the implication that my subtlest qualities were visible to him. I felt seen and understood through my body which was so generously made beautiful by his words then.

The dance is a kind of love story. It is a story of recognition between two people. The nature of our identities as trans people highlights the beauty and depth of trans love and celebrates the humanity of our existence coinciding with one another. To me it’s about this deep sense of understanding that comes from seeing and being seen. It is about the physicality of communication and an acknowledgement of personhood.

I designed the projected visuals entirely in the visual programming environment, Touchdesigner. The goal with the visuals was to produce a kind of bizarre and consuming environment which bares down on the dancers as well as the audience. It serves to highlight the feeling of not-being-at-home.